No Room For Hate...

HATE LOSES...THANK YOU NBA!!

Banned for life.... 

http://abcnews.go.com/US/nba-donald-sterling-banned-life/story?id=23513899

An Interracial Family, a Cheerios Ad and Racism....

Original Ad: 2013

Superbowl Ad: 2014

I wrote this post last June when the original commercial first aired. I'm sharing it again due to the racism surrounding the 2nd version and its airing during the Superbowl....

It is rare to see interracial families featured in commercials or even t.v. shows for that matter, so I'm thrilled to see an interracial family in the ad above. However, I am so disheartened to learn of the hateful comments surrounding this very ad.

When I saw the story on various media outlets about the Cheerios commercial featuring an interracial family and the racist backlash because of it, sadly, I wasn't surprised. My family dealt with the exact same issue when we were featured in USA Today just 1 and 2 short years ago.

Article 1: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/marriage/story/2011-11-07/Interracial-marriage-More-accepted-still-growing/51115322/1?loc=interstitialskip
Article 2: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/marriage/story/2012-02-16/US-rate-of-interracial-marriage-hits-record-high/53109980/1

I was so excited to have our family represent IR marriage in USA Today and then I remember being disgusted, shocked and hurt by the hateful words spewed in the comment section. I later spoke to a friend of mine at USA Today and she told me to stop reading them or they would drive me crazy. They ended up having to remove some of the comments because they were so racist. I had to pull myself away and realize when it comes to racism, change doesn't happen overnight, even though I wish with all my heart it would. I do have faith that one day it will be a non-issue. Clearly, as we see with the negativity regarding the Cheerios ad, we are not there yet.

This year will be our 20th wedding anniversary and 21 years together. As I have shared many times on this blog, we have dealt with all forms of racism during our years as a couple and family. I used to get angry, cry or get upset, but now I just feel sadness for anyone who carries hate in any form. Whether someone is racist, homophobic, or against another religion...hate is exhausting. I can't express enough how important it is for anyone who holds hate in their heart to let it go. In the end, the only person hate affects is the hateful person. Hate is stress and stress kills. Living a life filled with love and happiness cures more than hate, it leads to a longer life.

The thing is...nobody is born a bigot. Racism is taught. When we start accepting each other, we will stop hurting each other. I have an idea...let's start today, while eating a bowl of Cheerios! =)

Honoring MLK...

Today we honor him....

January 15th, is Martin Luther King, Jr.'s actual birthday. Every year on his birthday I watch pieces of his I Have a Dream speech. Each time I see it I am thrilled at how far we have come, yet, at the same time, amazed at how far we still have to go.

In his speech he said, "I have a dream ... that little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as brothers and sisters, I have a dream today!" 

Those words touch me in so many ways. As a white woman married to a black man in the present day, it takes me back to the fact that Jamie and I were illegal (in many states) when he gave his now famous speech. Because of MLK, the Lovings, Rosa Parks, and so many more -- I am able to live freely and happily with my beautiful family. We are not only holding hands, we are married! His dream and more!

How does one even begin to thank people who have paved the way? The answer to that question is ... keep paving until it's no longer necessary. It's time for ALL of us to not only continue the change, but to be the change! For good. Forever. That is how we honor MLK and all the others who sacrificed so much for so many. Not just today but every day.

"Happy birthday" ... to the man, the father, the pioneer, the peacemaker.

Thank you. For everything.

Giving is a Way of Living...

Young, old, black, white, brown or yellow...we are ALL in this TOGETHER!  

This holiday season, pick 1, 2, or all of the things on the list below...THEN, going forward, no matter what time of year it is, make giving a way of living. =)

Let's make a difference....
~Donate Food
~Volunteer time at a food bank or shelter
~Donate blankets, scarves, gloves, jackets, hats to the homeless
~Shop local

~Visit a senior
~"Adopt" a family
~Grocery shop for someone
~Donate money to charity
~Take a senior to lunch
~Help someone decorate their house who isn't able
~Buy from friends: Crafts, products, books, art, etc.
~Donate toys
~Take someone to see the holiday lights
~Spend time with family and friends
~Read to children; at a library, a shelter or a school
~Shovel snow for a neighbor
~Volunteer to clean the beach
~Recycle trees, boxes, paper, etc.
~When the season is over...pause, reflect, rewind and repeat. =)

Happy Holidays, 

Amy Wise ♥

2013 USA Best Book Awards!

I'm thrilled and honored to have my inspirational quote book, Believe in Yourself ~ Inspire Others ~ Spread Joy, chosen as an Award-Winning Finalist in the Self Help: Motivational category of the 2013 USA Best Book Awards by USA Book News. 

Every word in my book came straight from my heart and helped me get through a very difficult time. To know those very words are now helping others is an incredible blessing and EXACTLY why I wrote the book!

I am grateful for the honor and thankful to all those who have supported my "paper baby." I hope it continues to help and inspire many more people.

As most of you know, my mission, my passion; is to help people find their joy, follow their heart and live their dreams!!! My dreams come true over and over each time I hear my book has touched someone else! It is a beautiful feeling and one I treasure every, single, time.

  View book here:

http://www.amazon.com/Believe-Yourself-Inspire-Others-note/dp/1468175165/ref=zg_bsnr_4744_22

Wishing everyone JOY and DREAMS COME TRUE!

Freedom for All Radio Interview...

Last week I was the guest on Freedom for All Radio with hosts Jim and Jennifer Ellis. I talked about the "justice" system, family, interracial marriage, following dreams, finding joy, the journey to my book Believe in Yourself ~ Inspire Others ~ Spread Joy, my new non-profit; R.I.S.E. to Empower Inc. and more!

If you missed the show you can listen here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/freedomforall/2013/10/18/guest-amy-wise

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and thank you for listening!

To My Biological Mom...

A note to my bio mom, whom I've never met. I'm not sure why, but for the first time in 48 years, I felt compelled...

~I don't have a longing but I am curious. Do you feel the same?
~I've always wondered if we act alike. Do you feel the same?
~I look in the mirror and imagine seeing you. Do you feel the same?
~I relate to my heritage because it's my blood. Do you feel the same?
~I love my own daughter to my soul. Do you feel the same?
~I have a wonderful life and am truly grateful. Do you feel the same?
~I don't miss you but I think of you. Do you feel the same?

~I know in my heart if we met, we would be the same!

One final question...
Do you ever wish you knew my name?

The Luckiest Girl in the World......

She came home, all wrapped in pink, to a house that was filled with love.

Her childhood had many faces and many places, and friends from all around.

She kept old friends and made new friends, and was always ready for more.

There were times when change wasn't so easy for her, and she gave you lots of grief.

You never stopped loving her, you never stopped believing in her

and even when you wanted to, you never gave up on her.

She finally grew out of it, and became more mature, and thankfully lessons were learned.

She went off to college, and traveled the world, because you gave her wings to fly.

She loved and she lost, you stood by her side, while she picked up the pieces of her life.

She became her own woman, she loved again, this time it was for keeps.

There were smiles all around as she started a family, a new little girl of her own.

Her family grew up, right before her eyes, and then she continued to grow.

She went on, to follow her dreams of making it on her own.

Then her dream was destroyed, and once again, you were there to help her through the storm.

The storm is still raging, but she is not, for a new dream has now been born.

She is stronger than ever, no matter the hurdles, because she knows she's never alone.

Who was that baby wrapped in a blanket so many years ago?

That baby was me, and all I can say is I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

I write these words deep down from my soul, to my beautiful parents, who gave me so much.

You made me feel special because I was chosen, and you told me I came from your heart.

I thank you for loving me, I thank you for choosing me, I thank you from my core.

I will love you forever, and always be thankful, that I was the one you chose.

~Amy

(Originally written and posted in 2010)

20 Years of Marriage!

Our Wedding Day ~ August 21,1993

I do! And then some!

I now pronounce you....

I had to make our cake topper 

because interracial toppers didn't exist 20 years ago

Filled with joy!

Awwww ~ Daddy and daughter so long ago!

Jamie and I NEVER imagined 21 years ago, on that fateful day on the freeway, that today, we would be celebrating 20 years of marriage! The odds were not only stacked against us, they were piled high! However, through it ALL, we grew more in love, created a beautiful life and raised a loving family. 

Even though in our eyes we are just a couple, to society we are an interracial couple. We deal with so much more than couples that are of the same race. Sometimes it's mind boggling. We could have easily walked away all those years ago and decided that it wasn't worth the extra struggle to move forward in a relationship, but instead, we did the exact opposite and became stronger in spite of the obstacles. Each brick that was thrown at us made our foundation even stronger and our love even deeper. It's a choice to make it work and a choice we are blessed to have made. 

We not only have the obvious race difference but we are from VERY different worlds. I was raised in upper/middle class, white bread suburbia and Jamie was raised in the hood. Night and day lives, that came together because of 2 hearts and one love. We embraced each other's worlds and we raised our beautiful daughter to appreciate both and feel comfortable in both. Today we live in the middle of the 2 and it works perfectly. Who knew that Jamie would be attending book signings and going to see things like the artsy fartsy mosaic stairs in San Fran and I would be attending ghetto fabulous lowrider shows and car shows! It makes me laugh just thinking about it! Partnership and compromise at its finest!  

Through laughter, tears, love, loss, happiness, sadness, anger, relief, ups and downs...I am grateful for every moment of every single day during these last 20 years of marriage. 

Happy anniversary to my best friend and my soul-mate. Thank you for our CRAZY, AMAZING, LIFE! I Love you Jamie Wise! Here's to 20 more!

Our Fam ~ August 2013

 Us 2013

2012

2013

20 years later! More in love than ever!!

We Are So Very Sorry Trayvon...

At this moment I don't know what to think. I am speechless. I am heartbroken. I am shocked. I am a white woman, married to a black man, and sadly, he isn't shocked at all by the not guilty verdict in the George Zimmerman case. That breaks my heart as well. Injustice is something my husband has become used to as a black man in America. When will this change? Why are we still looking at young black men in hoodies as criminals and young white men in hoodies as keeping warm? Why?

We ALL know if George Zimmerman had run into a young white man in a hoodie on that infamous Florida night, he might have glanced at him, but he would have nodded and moved on. We all know this. We do.

George Zimmerman was told by the 911 operator to wait for the police. He didn't. Trayvon Martin was carrying a bag of Skittles. George Zimmerman was carrying a gun. George Zimmerman took the law into his own hands and Trayvon Martin never had the law on his side. We can say he did. We can say a jury saw more evidence than we did. But what we can't say is, justice was done. It wasn't.

The loopholes in the law that allowed George Zimmerman, as an armed security guard, to decide not to wait for police officers and to take the life of an innocent young man, didn't allow justice to be done, the laws allowed a young man to die for no reason. The insane laws in Florida allowed another man to get away with murder. Period.

I'm ashamed of our system. I'm ashamed of our courts. I'm ashamed that attorney's are standing up and celebrating a win. A young man with an entire future ahead of him, who committed no crime, is dead! A win?!? Shameful.

Until the fear based on stereotypes and racism is erased, we will never be able to move forward. Until change is made, until Trayvon can rest in peace, until his parents can go to sleep at night knowing the right thing was done...we can't stop speaking for Trayvon. We won't. I know I speak for many when I say...we are so very sorry Trayvon.

Justice was not done. Injustice was.

Marriage is LOVE...

I am a BIG believer in equal rights for all. I haven't written anything about the gay marriage debate on my blog because this blog is all about interracial marriage. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I have to write about gay marriage, because this blog is about LOVE!

So here's the thing...in light of the fact that the heterosexual divorce rate is 50%+ -- maybe, instead of working so hard to stop gay marriages, we should work a little harder on our marriages so we stay married. Yes?

I respect everyone's right to believe what they believe. However, I don't respect those beliefs when they turn from believing to hating. Gay people don't go around bullying or bashing heterosexuals because they are straight, yet there are straight people who justify bullying gays because they don't believe in their lifestyle. I'd say we have work to do in our houses before we start judging other houses. 

Then there is religion and gay marriage. For the love of God, please don't bring God into this. God loves everyone and I can guarantee he doesn't approve of judging or hating. That is not Christian behavior, that is bad behavior. 

If someone doesn't believe in gay marriage, cool. Don't be in one. If someone doesn't believe in interracial marriage. Cool. Don't be in that either. Just don't take away someone else's right to love because of differing beliefs. Wish them well, walk away, and move on.

Not long ago an AMAZING couple went all the way to the Supreme Court to fight for their marriage. They paved the way for interracial marriage to become legal. The Loving's (yes, that is really their last name) never gave up and because of them my husband and I are allowed to live in love today. To see the gay marriage debate at the Supreme Court truly gives me chills. I get it. To my core. Another fight for love.

Let's stop making this sooooo difficult! In the end it's about being able to love whom our heart falls in love with.

Marriage is LOVE. ALL marriage. And yes, it IS that simple!

No Words Needed...

Anti-Defamation League -- 100 years!

Click on link below:

Take just one minute to watch this, then -- imagine.

Valentine's Day "is" Every Day...

Valentine's Day is such an interesting holiday. So much goes into this day of love. My husband and I look at it a little differently. You see, we feel that Valentine's Day should be every day. I'm not talking about chocolates, roses, cards and fancy dinners. I'm talking about love, respect, laughter, support - LIFE! 

Valentine's Day to us is one more day to; say I love you, smile at each other, share our day with each other, respect each other, support each other, laugh together, chill together, and just be together. 

When love truly comes from the heart there is no proving it - you just know it. For the love to last, it HAS to be about the everyday!     

Mind you, there is nothing wrong with doing something special on Valentine's Day. In fact, it's fun! Do what makes you happy as a couple, not what you think you should do because it's Valentine's Day. We will be celebrating by picking up dinner from one of our favorite restaurants and having our "carpet picnic" by the fire. No crowds, just us. =) 

So today I say, "Happy Valentine's Day to the love of my life, my best friend, my heart. I love you - today and EVERY DAY!"

Comedy in a Casserole....

Flashback to Thanksgiving, 1993....Jamie and I had been husband and wife for just a few months and we were going to our first married Thanksgiving at his sister's house. His sister asked me to bring a dish to share with everyone and I was so excited to be contributing to the Thanksgiving meal. I was a little nervous because it was our first holiday as a married couple with his family. I decided to bring the staple dish that I had grown up with....green bean casserole with french onions on top. You all know it, you all love it, you've all had it...right?

We got to his sister's house and I proudly walked in with my green bean casserole. I set it on the table, took off the foil, and waited for everyone to dig in. After we said a prayer everyone started to dish up all their food from the table...everything but my casserole that is. So I thought, hmm, why is nobody eating my green bean casserole? This is a favorite at my house, what's up? I was starting to get a little hurt as they walked right by my beans. Whatever...I proudly filled my plate and ate those beans up! However, I was literally the only one! Apparently black people don't like green bean casserole. Who knew!?! Clearly, I didn't.

The hilarious thing is, after that holiday meal, I was given the task of bringing the rolls and soda going forward. Yes, you heard me...rolls and soda....pretty impossible to screw up right? My green bean casserole has been the holiday funny ever since. At first it really did hurt my feelings, but now I can actually look back and laugh. Good thing I have a sense of humor! This was one more thing to adjust to in a mixed race marriage, getting used to each other's traditions, big and small. As time went on I graduated to making complete meals for Jamie's family...um, minus the green bean casserole!

The hilarity continued this year when my sister-in-law Niki called to let me know that the green bean casserole commercials had started and she couldn't wait to make it. I laughed! It truly is the running joke even after all these years. By the way, a little aside, Niki is white. The silliness ensued while later talking to my mom on the phone. She said, while giggling, "Be sure to tell Jamie that Aunt Sal is cooking green bean casserole." Then minutes after that phone call, Jamie's longtime friend Calvin, otherwise known as "Tee," called to wish us an early happy Thanksgiving. Jamie and Tee were comparing menus and Tee listed green bean casserole as one of the dishes he and his wife were making for dinner. Jamie quickly said, "Oh hell no," and just started laughing! He then proceeded to share the casserole story with Tee. Another little funny, Tee just so happens to be black and his wife is white. Do you see a pattern here? I have yet to talk to an all black family that serves the infamous casserole.

The green bean casserole jokes have become another fun tradition that we all share as we continue to embrace the differences between our two very opposite families. Each year we literally have comedy in a casserole! It's the perfect analogy for us. Happy Thanksgiving!

The World's Hero....

Today I have a very important guest post from my friends at 
the Over My Shoulder Foundation... 

What if we lived in a world where our education was a mentor-centric venture and all the nations in the world held mentorology as the highest value for both men AND women equally? Would you want to live in that kind of world? Education is precious so we need to fight for it just like Malala Yousafzai did, and is doing, in Pakistan. That is the foundational belief guiding this story by one of our favorite guest writers, Sarah Gross. Sarah has written for us before as she pursued her undergraduate degree at UC Davis. She has delighted us all with in-depth inquiries into mentoring issues. For example: Lady Gaga and the anti-bullying crusades of 2012, how Lenny Kravitz addresses race issues and Bob Marley’s mentoring legacy. Now in pursuit of a combined teaching credential/ Master’s of Education program, Sarah is teaching at a middle school & high school while taking classes. Somehow she still finds time to write for Over My Shoulder Foundation. We sure are grateful!

-Dawn Carroll, Over My Shoulder Foundation Co-Founder and Executive Director

On Being a Teacher...

This morning, I woke up early and drove to the middle school where I am an English teacher to 7^th graders. As I greet them every day, I see different personalities, ethnicities, and genders. Each student comes into the classroom with their own unique story, their own values, and their own personal background. These students are individuals who enrich the classroom environment. It is an adventure to teach them all, and I learn from my students as much as they learn from me.

When I think about my life at this point, I see myself maintaining a daily routine where my identity as “teacher” is synonymous with providing quality education to all who enter the classroom. This lifestyle—teaching all adolescents within a classroom, no matter their gender or background—is somewhat taken for granted in the United States. Teachers are common threads in the tapestry of American society.

I do not take my profession for granted, but it is an easy thing to do when I have lived in a country where access to education is a guarantee. There was no question that I would go to school and receive at least a high school education. There is similarly no question of an education for my 7^th grade students. They are already taking field trips to Universities, and the curriculum is designed to lead these students on the path to college. With these guarantees in place, where students are set up for future success, it is easy to forget that not all countries share the view that its citizens should have access to education. Yet, one incident is enough to remind us of how precious education really is; of how important teachers are; and of how important individual students are in their role as shapers of the future.

Then Realizing that My Educational Worldview was Incomplete…

That one incident came just a week ago. A young girl—teen activist Malala Yousafzai—was shot in Pakistan by the Taliban for campaigning for girls’ education. Despite living under a highly patriarchal regime, where education to females is viewed as a threat, Malala has fought for the education of girls like herself. She has maintained a blog and has starred in a documentary to bring awareness to the issue. Her efforts even won her the National Youth Peace Prize.

Malala Yousafzai – a Women’s Education Activist

Recognizing Malala’s Heroism…

While campaigning, she received threats from the Taliban, who wished to silence her radical ideas. A powerful soul like Malala’s, however, cannot be silenced. Though living under the shadow of these threats, Malala did not allow this darkness to blunt the shining light of justice she carried through the Swat Valley. Her resilience casts her in the role of a martyr, sacrificing herself for neighbors. The outpouring of emotion and the unifying effect brought on by the shooting, however, lifts Malala into a position even more powerful than that of a martyr. The news reports of the incident, widely circulated and showing communities joined together in prayer, are evidence that Malala is no ordinary victim to Taliban threats. Rather, her actions and what she stands for bring certain gravity to the situation that has resonated across the nations. Malala is not just a martyr: she is symbol of hope and peace for a broken community. Most importantly for young girls, she is someone to look up to. She is a role model. She is a mentor.

Honoring Malala with Our Ongoing Commitment to Mentorology…

Malala’s courageous efforts reveal the level of injustice she has lived with. When comparing her life to the life of a girl growing up in the United States, I cannot help but notice the painful disparity.

We can take this incident of darkness as a sign of hopelessness. We can feel despair for Malala and the girls in her country, and grateful that we live in a better place.

I choose to do neither. I choose to honor Malala, to honor her courage and resilience, and to mark this incident as the dawning of a new era of hope for girls across the globe who deserve an education. Malala is truly a mentor for all of us. As a teacher, I am reaffirmed in my belief that I can make a positive difference in the lives of my students, because they all—boy and girl—are receiving the same education. I can advocate for the students here in the United States, and spread the word about the importance of education. On a subtler level, I can work to be a role model to my students, just as some of my grade-school teachers are still role models to me.

Though what happened to Malala is a tragedy, it is something we, as country, can learn from. A Newsweek author opines, “Who will speak for [Malala] now?” In answer to this, I say that “we” as a collective nation can speak for her. We can embrace this young girl, this mentor, and take up her cause for girls’ education. We should all have the right to an education, and the right to be heard.

Let us, then, listen to Malala and share her words, those spoken and unspoken. Let us celebrate her as the shining light of justice in a dark world, and let us learn from her as she mentors us all. 

-Sarah Gross

When we turn a blind eye, everyone hurts. 
When we open our eyes, everyone heals. 
There are no strangers, we're all in this together!

~ Amy Wise

Creating Change....Together!

Women Behind the Wall

Last month I spoke at a fundraiser in Los Angeles for the Action Committee for Women in Prison. The event was a life changer for me. 

My passion is to help others find their joy even when it seems there is none to be found. Going forward I will be working with a whole new group of women...women who are behind the bars or just getting free of the bars. It's all about helping others help themselves. THEN, they can help someone else do the same! We have to create change, together!   

After the fundraiser I was asked to be a guest on Women Behind the Wall by 4 Justice Now Radio, hosted by Gloria Goodwin-Killian and MaryEllen Digiacomo. On their show we talked about my 5 year battle with the "justice" system, making it through hard times, racism, my interracial marriage, starting over, creating new dreams, second chances, finding joy and so much more! 

Listen in by clicking on the link below to hear all the topics and to see how you can help. Thank you!  

Women Behind the Wall by 4 Justice Now Radio

"Yesterday's choices are today's lessons and tomorrow's growth" 

~Amy Wise

Life, in a Nutshell, on the Radio...

   

Recently, I was the guest on "Find Your Sprinkles Radio." If you missed the radio show live, you can still listen in online. We talked about choices, interracial marriage, racism, strength, love, believing in ourselves, starting over, following dreams, creating new dreams, giving to others and so much more! Click on the link below to hear everything! Craig Lazarchik and Chris Mott are the hosts of this inspirational show. We had a great time!

Find Your Sprinkles Radio

Happy 19th Anniversary!!!!

Then....August 21st, 1993

Now....

Who knew on a fateful day 20 years ago while driving up the 805 freeway in San Diego, my life would change forever?! That was the day I met my husband and our future was set in motion. The story still amazes me. http://themanyshadesoflove.blogspot.com/2010/05/how-heck-did-you-two-meet-i-mean-she.html

Flash forward to today...August 21st, 2012...our 19th wedding anniversary! It's hard to believe that so much time has gone by. We have been through trials, tribulations and triumphs! Neither one of us would have ever imagined that we would be where we are today. We are friends, shoulders, lovers, parents, partners, soul-mates and so much more. There are days when we laugh, there are days when we cry and there are days when we drive each other crazy, but there is never, ever a day that goes by that we don't love each other completely. We don't take each other for granted and we realize how lucky and blessed we are to be together. 

Time has changed circumstances, but time has not changed us. We are more in love today than the day we got married. There is a deepness to that love that only time, heartache, life, happiness and challenges can bring. It's the getting through and making it out of the dark times that has truly allowed us to embrace the bright times with joy. 

I love my husband not just with all my heart, but deep to my soul. We fit so perfectly while also being totally different. It's a wonderful combination that works for us. We are two best friends from opposite worlds that continue to meet in the middle to build our beautiful life.

So today, on our 19th anniversary, I want to say thank you for the most amazing, life altering, fabulous, 19 years! Fate brought us together, love made us grow, strength and respect made us last.

I love you always and forever Jamie J.

1993

2012

Happy, happy anniversary! 

Out of the Box Christian

My Peaceful Space

Religion, it’s a recurring theme in my life. Just the other day I was in Starbucks, anxiously awaiting my Caramel Frappaccino (my other religion), when a very attractive black man in a suit came up to me and said, “Do you practice?” I wasn't sure what he was referring to, and at first I thought he was asking if I was a practicing attorney because this particular Starbucks is on the bottom floor of a law firm. He clearly saw the puzzled look on my face and pointed to my bracelet, and said, “Is that just an accessory or do you practice?” Ohhhh! I finally got it. My bracelet had Buddhas all over it and he wanted to know if I was a practicing Buddhist. I thought about it for a second and wondered if I should give this complete stranger my true beliefs on religion, or the quick and easy answer, which would have been, “I’m a Christian.” The easy answer, however, just does not cover the full story of how I feel about religion. I’m a Christian, but there is so much more to it than that. I decided to be open and give him the more. I said, “No I’m not a Buddhist, but I’m a very out of the box Christian, open to all religions. I practice bits and pieces of many religions, including  practicing some Buddhism, because in the end don’t we all want the same thing from whatever religion it is that we practice?” He literally looked at me, smiled, took my hand in both of his hands, and said, “Thank you, that’s exactly how I feel and I’m so very happy to meet you!” In that moment, two strangers understood that if we all open our minds and hearts to each other, the world would be a much more peaceful place. It was a pretty cool moment.

A few days after that, my sister and I were talking and she told me how she loved the fact that my friends were from so many different backgrounds, ages and religions. She is so right! My friends are a we are the world gumbo. I have friends that are Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Mormon, Muslim, Atheist, Goddess, Universe, and I’m sure I’m missing something else, but you get the idea. I love them all. I respect them all. I’m thankful they are all in my life. Period.

As a child I was raised as a Lutheran -- I even taught Sunday school -- but as I got older I held on to some beliefs and let go of others, while opening my mind to so many more. Being in an interracial marriage automatically frees your mind. How could it not? We are living a life that is not the norm, but it’s a life filled with love, so why would a religion that is not my norm be any different?

Religion to me is now all about faith, peace, love, kindness, caring and giving. I pray to Jesus. I meditate to Buddha. I talk to God. I look to the Universe. It’s all good as far as I’m concerned! So when someone asks me what my religion is, I have to ask, “Do you really want to know?” If the answer is yes….well then….”I’m an out of the box Christian and so much more!

(Originally posted April, 2011)

A Perfect "Match".......

Yolanda and Me

Me and Jamie

After over 20 years of being together I take it for granted that we are...well...just us. I tend to forget that society sees us with different eyes than we do. Lately I have been reminded of this on numerous occasions. The first time was at a car show a few months back. Jamie and I went to the show with his dear friend Yolanda. Jamie and Yolanda have known each other since middle school and he has been a big brother to her all of her life.

Per the usual, while we were at the show we ran into various people we knew. Yolanda ran into some old friends as well. What we didn't know was, one of those old friend's ran back to Yolanda's soon to be ex-husband and told him she was with another man. You get the idea already, right? Now at this point in time Yolanda and her husband had been split up and had filed for divorce months before, so regardless of the true facts, it didn't really matter who she was with. What did matter was, this friend told her soon to be ex that Yolanda was at the car show with some big dude. Funny huh!? Mind you, he saw the 3 of us together and all 3 of us talked, but he still assumed that Yolanda and Jamie were together because they matched. I'm still giggling today as I write this.

I'm not done, it gets even better. After the friend told the ex, the ex went to their pastor and told him! Yep. Amazing! THEN the pastor had a conversation with Yolanda and asked her if she was at a car show with another man. Are you laughing yet? So Yolanda said, "Yes I was, AND I was also with his WIFE! Here, would you like to see a picture of them? That's his WIFE and they are a MARRIED COUPLE! He is like my brother." She said the pastor just stood there quietly shaking his head.

Isn't it hilarious that this old friend automatically assumed because Yolanda and Jamie match on the outside that they must have been together? When will people remember the definition of ass-u-me?

Just a few short weeks later, Yolanda, Jamie and I went out to dinner. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until about a week after that, when my daughter and I went out to the same restaurant. Jamie was out of town visiting his sister who was ill. We happened to have the same waitress from the week before. She said, "I remember you. You were here with your friend and her husband but you were sitting next to him." I smiled nicely and said, "Um, he is my husband and this is our daughter," pointing at Tatiana who was across the table from me. Her eyes got wide and she said, "Oh sorry." We all laughed and I said, "It's okay, but that's why I was sitting next to him." As she walked off I looked at Tatiana and said, "REALLY?! Why is it so hard for everyone to believe that he is MY husband. I don't get it."

I take it all in stride at this point because it doesn't change our love for each other, but sometimes it does get old having to constantly explain us.

We have been together for over 2 decades and one thing is for sure.... 
We don't have to match on the outside because our hearts are a perfect match on the inside! 

Happy Father's Day!

My favorite picture of dad and hubby

Two men from different worlds. 

Two men that respect each other.

Two men that love each other. 

Two men that would do anything for family.

Two men that give unconditional love.

Two men that are amazing Dads.

Two men that have been there through everything. 

Two men that helped make me who I am today.

 Two men that I love with all my heart and soul. 

Two opposite men. 

Two hearts of gold.
One complete love.

Happy Fathers Day!!

I love you both!

Amy

Hate Mail.....

It's been a while since I have written about any recent racial issues our family has experienced. However, sadly, it's not for lack of them happening in our lives, it's simply because I have been crazy, busy. I actually have a list I could write about. As each year passes I assume we are going to have fewer and fewer racist problems arise. That is my hope, but not the reality...yet.

A couple of weeks ago we had a very disheartening letter arrive in the mail. It was addressed to our daughter and shocked us all. She so happened to check the mail that day and was excited to receive something addressed to her. That excitement quickly turned to disbelief after she opened the letter and saw what was inside. We were with 2 of her friends and she looked at them with wide eyes and handed the letter to me and said, "Mama, what is this?" I read it and thought it was a joke. Then I realized it was far from being funny and was actually filled with hate. We couldn't understand why someone would send such a cruel letter to our house and to her. The hand written return address was from Las Vegas, NV and the postal stamp where the letter was mailed was from Santa Ana, CA. Someone was trying to be tricky but clearly they weren't very bright. After I read it, I handed it to her friends and they read it and said, "Who takes the time to send something like this and who still cares about what color people are?" None of us could wrap our brains around what would possess someone to send a hateful letter to our home.

After the initial shock wore off, the worry started to set in, at least for me. The fact that someone had our address and child's name totally freaked me out. My other concern was how this would affect her. I told her not to let it get her down and that the person that wrote the letter obviously doesn't know her at all because she is achieving all of her goals and then some! She said she knew that but still didn't get why someone would send something so mean.

We went on with our day and the letter hung over our heads like a small dark cloud. At the end of the day when we all got home, I shared it with her daddy. His response was, "I'm surprised it took so long for something like this to show up after all the interracial stories that have been written about our family." To him it's just the reality of our world, and to me it's so sad and has to end!

After the conversation with my husband I shared the letter on Facebook. Everyone was shocked! A police officer friend messaged me and told me to call the local police because the letter is considered hate mail. So I did. The officer came out and said that it could have been from a stranger because of all the articles about our family or it could have been from a bully that was jealous or had issues with our daughter. Either way, hate is hate. He told us to save the letter and to call them if we receive anything else. We are all hoping this was a one time incident.

The irony is, when anything racial happens in our lives it has the EXACT opposite affect that the racist wants it to have. After 20 years of dealing with things like this, our family just gets stronger and stronger. That same night, Tatiana was going to spend the night at her cousin's house and as she walked out the door she sarcastically said, "Okay, I'm leaving now and I'm going out to achieve nothing in life!" We all just laughed! I was so happy to see she was taking it all in stride and was totally confident in herself and all that she is achieving. Smiles all around!

In the end I feel sorry for someone who has so much hate inside they feel the need to send it through the mail in an anonymous letter. The energy it took to write the letter, think about the fake address and send it, all based on hate....what a horrible way to live. I don't wish that on anyone.

We are now MORE determined than ever to live in love and to continue to follow our dreams! I forgive the hate and I hope the letter writer is able to let it go and find love and happiness in their life...sooner than later. That is my dream for them.