Saturday, June 2, 2012

Hate Mail.....

It's been a while since I have written about any recent racial issues our family has experienced. However, sadly, it's not for lack of them happening in our lives, it's simply because I have been crazy, busy. I actually have a list I could write about. As each year passes I assume we are going to have fewer and fewer racist problems arise. That is my hope, but not the reality...yet.

A couple of weeks ago we had a very disheartening letter arrive in the mail. It was addressed to our daughter and shocked us all. She so happened to check the mail that day and was excited to receive something addressed to her. That excitement quickly turned to disbelief after she opened the letter and saw what was inside. We were with 2 of her friends and she looked at them with wide eyes and handed the letter to me and said, "Mama, what is this?" I read it and thought it was a joke. Then I realized it was far from being funny and was actually filled with hate. We couldn't understand why someone would send such a cruel letter to our house and to her. The hand written return address was from Las Vegas, NV and the postal stamp where the letter was mailed was from Santa Ana, CA. Someone was trying to be tricky but clearly they weren't very bright. After I read it, I handed it to her friends and they read it and said, "Who takes the time to send something like this and who still cares about what color people are?" None of us could wrap our brains around what would possess someone to send a hateful letter to our home.

After the initial shock wore off, the worry started to set in, at least for me. The fact that someone had our address and child's name totally freaked me out. My other concern was how this would affect her. I told her not to let it get her down and that the person that wrote the letter obviously doesn't know her at all because she is achieving all of her goals and then some! She said she knew that but still didn't get why someone would send something so mean.

We went on with our day and the letter hung over our heads like a small dark cloud. At the end of the day when we all got home, I shared it with her daddy. His response was, "I'm surprised it took so long for something like this to show up after all the interracial stories that have been written about our family." To him it's just the reality of our world, and to me it's so sad and has to end!

After the conversation with my husband I shared the letter on Facebook. Everyone was shocked! A police officer friend messaged me and told me to call the local police because the letter is considered hate mail. So I did. The officer came out and said that it could have been from a stranger because of all the articles about our family or it could have been from a bully that was jealous or had issues with our daughter. Either way, hate is hate. He told us to save the letter and to call them if we receive anything else. We are all hoping this was a one time incident.

The irony is, when anything racial happens in our lives it has the EXACT opposite affect that the racist wants it to have. After 20 years of dealing with things like this, our family just gets stronger and stronger. That same night, Tatiana was going to spend the night at her cousin's house and as she walked out the door she sarcastically said, "Okay, I'm leaving now and I'm going out to achieve nothing in life!" We all just laughed! I was so happy to see she was taking it all in stride and was totally confident in herself and all that she is achieving. Smiles all around!

In the end I feel sorry for someone who has so much hate inside they feel the need to send it through the mail in an anonymous letter. The energy it took to write the letter, think about the fake address and send it, all based on hate....what a horrible way to live. I don't wish that on anyone.

We are now MORE determined than ever to live in love and to continue to follow our dreams! I forgive the hate and I hope the letter writer is able to let it go and find love and happiness in their life...sooner than later. That is my dream for them.


J.Norman said...

Amy, thank God for the attitude you and your family have. You are right, what was sent in hate has been turned around and forgiveness is being sent back to the sender. I doubt the person "gets" it now, but perhaps some event will happen in their life to bring understanding, peace and love from a non-judgmental heart.

My son endured many hateful remarks and action growing up as a "person of color" but I am happy, very happy, to report he is a loving, caring man who continued to walk his path with tolerance.

Thank you for sharing this, Amy.
God bless now, and always.


Valerie said...

Beautifully said Amy. Your family is filled with love and goodness, all that is lacking in the author of that letter. I am grateful to know you and can't wait to meet Tatiana and Jamie.

Madgew said...

Got your back Amy and I am glad you reported it. These types of people have nothing better to do with their lives than hate. So sad for them.

Amy Wise said...

Joyce, Valerie and Madge,
Thank you all! It's always shocking to see things like this but in the end it's our choice how we respond. I will continue to teach tolerance and our family will continue to live in love. Hopefully some minds will be changed along the way.

Love to all of you ladies!


Zetta Brown said...

You did the right thing contacting the police. It's important that there is an official record of this in case something happens again. I doubt that it will, but you can never be sure.

Y'all rock. Did you know that? Did I ever TELL you that?...I'm sure I have. ;D

Y'all should just add "We Rock" to your last name.

Maddie Berson said...

Well said, Amy. Tasteful as always.

Amy Wise said...


Awww thank you!! You are hilarious! "we rock" to our last name....I love it!!! I was just talking about you the other day and saying how wonderful it was to have you and Nicky as Editors on Oil and Water. That book will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart! Hugs sent to Scotland!


Thank you so much. It gets easier and easier to walk away from the hate and live in the love. It feels soooo much better!

Nay K. said...

Amy: This could have been sent from a White or Black racist person. Here are a few things that comes to my mind after reading your new blog. 1. When people like this racist say those thing, I think of what I heard Tyler Perry say in one of his movie, "It's not what you are called, it's what you answer to."

2. From pastor Joel Osteen. It's not what negative people think of you, it's what God thinks of you. And believe me, Amy, the Holy Spirit of God and Jesus Christ is smiling on you, Jamie and Tat and all of you are perfect in his image.

This is one more reason why this country needs more websites like Loving, Mix and and Ethni I wish that you could send him or her your blog of "Racist Minds
Can be Changed".

In closing,I read a quote by an awesome woman and the quote said; "There is an obstacle (racism) in your way, move it, walk around it, jump over it or crawl under it. Now look back and know that you are stronger because of it." Miami Heat to the championship.

Amy Wise said...

Nay K,

Thank you for "quoting" one of the quotes from my book!

You are very sweet. When things like this happen it's all about moving on and teaching tolerance. That's what we will continue to do.

Thank you for your kind comments!