Monday, August 31, 2009

"Wow, I Never Pictured You With a Black Guy".......

Out to dinner on our 16th anniversary 8/21/09 =)
I'm baaaack....sorry for the break...I just started a new full time job and it has been difficult keeping up with the blog, facebook and life! =) Speaking of many of you out there are...I too am addicted! Well, the other day I received a friend request from someone I thought was an old friend of mine from high school. She ended being a different person with the exact same name as my friend. Once I accepted the request I received a private email from her. She had seen my profile picture, which is of my husband, daughter and myself. The email was short and to the point. In it she wrote..."How are you?" Wow, I never pictured you with a black guy. He looks like that news guy that was on channel 6 in San Fran so I guess that's okay." As I am reading this, I'm thinking, first of all, do you not realize we don't know each other? Second of all, if he didn't look like the newscaster, would it not be okay?! I was just blown away! Here is a woman that thinks she is getting back in touch with a high school friend and all she can say after years and years is, "I never pictured you with a black guy!?" If I was with a white man would she have said, "Wow, I never pictured you with a white guy!" Of course not! Why is it okay to say something like that!? It's sooooo not! Even if she disagreed with us being together could she not have just said, "nice to be in touch again," and just leave out all of the other "stuff" she felt the need to write? People never ever cease to amaze me. My email back should have been, "Wow, I can't believe how ignorant you are!" Instead, needless to say, I hit the delete button. =)

Monday, August 17, 2009

16 Years...Who Would Have "Thunk" It!?!

Our Wedding August 21st, 1993
The Happy Couple
Handmade Cake Topper =)
16 Years Later.......
My how time flies...this week is our 16 year anniversary! Friday, August 21st to be exact! I am proud to say, that this year, even though having been our most challenging, has also been the best year ever in regards to our marriage. We seem to just get stronger each day. When we met 17 years ago, who would have ever known that we would be such a strong, amazing, happy couple today!!? All couples go through trials and tribulations, ups and downs, good times and bad times, but add to that being an interracial couple, and the odds somehow seemed stacked against us. However, from day one, we knew that no matter what society, friends, or family, tried to do or say in regards to our relationship, we were in love and we were going to make it! So here we are.....16 years of marriage and still goin'! Back then not only was our marriage out of the ordinary but so was our cake topper! They didn't make interracial cake toppers when we got married, so I made one myself! I bought a white bridesmaid, a black groomsman and made it work.....just like our marriage! The small fact that they didn't make interracial cake toppers spoke volumes about how unusual our union was just 16 short years ago. So what does make OUR marriage last? There are so many things, but here are just a few.......we raise our daughter together, we share our faith, we never leave the house without a good-bye kiss, we never go to bed mad, stubborn as we both are we compromise and somehow come to the middle (on most things =), we are there for each other through everything no matter how bad, we communicate, we argue with respect, we apologize (sometimes through clenched teeth, but we apologize none the less =), we share the housework, we share the carpooling, we laugh together, we chill together, we have friends together, and friends apart (you must have your own circle of friends), we give each other space, we are both "crazy", =) and most of all we love each other no matter what! We are not perfect by any means, nor would I want to be, in fact, who is for that matter? However, we are happy, and we are truly, truly in love. Happy Anniversary "week" to the love of my life, my best friend, my soulmate. 16 years later here we STILL are......who would have "thunk" it!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

My Definition of an Interracial Relationship.....

If you look up Interracial Relationship online this is the definition that you will find....... "Miscegenation (Latin miscere "to mix" + genus "kind") is the mixing of different racial groups, that is, marrying, cohabiting, having sexual relations, and having children with a partner from outside one's racially or ethnically defined group." Historically the term has been used in the context of laws banning interracial marriage and sex, so-called anti-miscegenation laws. It is therefore a loaded word and is considered offensive by many.
First of all, the fact that during my lifetime interracial marriage was still illegal makes me shiver. I just can't imagine someone telling me it's against the law to marry the love of my life. Can you? Unbelievable. So now on to what I believe "Interracial Relationship" means, and should have meant all along....My definition of "Interracial Relationship" is; love, marriage, strength, courage, pride, self confidence, challenges, cultures, family, history, fun, happiness, learning, growing, teaching, knowing yourself, change, a brighter future, not to mention great food, and more love! =) What an amazing list don't you think?!? So for those of you that are questioning or wondering what it's all about, it's pretty simple, and pretty amazing! Next time you meet someone outside of your race and you think, hmm I kind of like them, what should I do? Just follow your heart, and ohhhh the places it will take you! It's a beautiful thing, we call, LOVE. =)

Monday, August 3, 2009


Because my last post was pretty "heavy" I figured I would lighten this one up a bit. When you are in any type of relationship it is so important to have fun! For interracial couples there are so many things that we deal with on top of the normal issues, it is a MUST to have comedy in the relationship. One of the MANY silly things that my husband and I like to do, is to pretend we are an eclipse! So, as you can imagine, me being white and him being black, this works quite well! =) I know it sound ridiculous, and really it is, but it's also hilarious! We stand in front of each other, one to the left and one to the right, and then with an almost "penguin like waddle" we move towards the center until we are right in front of each other, and's an eclipse! Total dorks, total goof balls, but we laugh out loud every single time! Our daughter thinks we are nuts! Okay, I admit it, we are! Better than being boring, don't ya think?! =) It's the little things, like "playing eclipse" and just being silly in general, that keep any relationship alive and well. So next time you want a good laugh, do like we do, and become an eclipse! As they say, laughter IS the best medicine. =) So go and have fun!