Tuesday, September 28, 2010

"That's Okay, They're Family"......

When it comes to race issues in America we are not surprised when the older generation still has problems regarding interracial dating and marriage.  Sometimes it's hard to let go of old school ways when that's how someone was raised.  However, the younger generation is supposed to give us hope that race will just be a fact and not an issue.  Now the "pee wee generation"....I'm talking about our itty bitties....kinder, first graders and so on......those little kiddos should have ZERO issues when it comes to race, right? Why would a first or second grader care, or even know, to have a problem with interracial dating or marriage?  The one and only reason a little one would care, or rather know to care, is because they are being taught to care.   I wrote about this last year at "Nobody is Born a Bigot" but this year it hit even closer to home. 

Recently, we were out with relatives from Jamie's side of the family and one of them told us a story that was very concerning to me.  Her little daughter was watching a wedding show with her and the couple that was getting married happened to be a black woman and an Asian man.  Our little relative said to her Mama, "How can they be getting married? They don't belong together."  Mama said, "What? They're getting married because they love each other."  Little relative said, "They can't get married, they should be the same."  Is your mouth dropping yet?  At this point mine did!  Mama then said, "It doesn't matter what skin color someone is as long as the man treats the woman like a princess, they make each other happy, and they love each other."  Little relative wasn't going for it.  She said, "No, it's not okay, they need to be the same."  Mama then said,  "Well what about Uncle Jamie and Aunt Amy?"  Little relative said, "That's okay, they're family."  Isn't it fascinating that because we are family, and she loves us to pieces, she feels that our interracial marriage is okay?  She's just a child, so she doesn't understand that if we're okay, then all interracial marriage should be okay.  As the story goes on, I still can't believe what I'm hearing. How could our little relative feel this way? Mama continued to explain that it's all about love and happiness, and not skin color. However, with the exception of "us," little relative was not about to change her mind in regards to how she feels about interracial couples.

You might be asking, where is she learning this kind of thinking?  I asked the very same question. Clearly Mama isn't teaching racism.  Mama and Daddy are not together anymore, so is it being taught at Daddy's?  Is she learning from friends at school who learn from their Mommy's and Daddy's?  Is she learning from Grandparents?  Who knows?  It's just sad and wrong. 

Tolerance is so important and the little ones are the key.  They are like sponges, and no matter what we teach them they will soak it in.  It breaks my heart that our little relative feels this way.  I hope that all of her Mama's positive feedback and teaching will outweigh the negative that she is being exposed to elsewhere.  Hate can be taught, but love can still be learned.  This is my hope for her.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Happy Sweet 16 Tatiana!!!!

16 years ago today we were blessed with the most amazing gift ever...our beautiful daughter! 

From a baby to a young woman....this is our child.....

She is kind, she is loving, she is beautiful, she is talented, she is funny, she is crazy, she is wild, she is a dancer, she is a friend, she has her faults, she has made mistakes, she has grown, she will continue to grow, she will move out, she will move on, she will create her own life, she will live, she will love, but one thing will never change, she will always be our fabulous daughter! 

Today we celebrate the joy of our life.....Tatiana...happy, happy 16th birthday baby girl....we love you!!  Mama and Daddy <3

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Aren't We All Just Sisters At Heart?!

Okay ladies, this one’s for you. Since my last post about our “friend” that has issues with white women and black men, all sorts of conversations have popped up…some good, some bad. I’m a little discouraged…okay, a LOT discouraged that this is even a conversation. Ladies, c’mon on now! Aren’t we all in this together? Women are supposed to be there for each other, not fight against each other. We are supposed to be there through thick and thin, laughter and tears, good and bad, boys to men, men to men, and more men…right?! Why do we want to “dog” each other, when we should totally be there for each other? It’s beyond me. I want my “sisters” to be happy, to be successful, to thrive, to find love, to find their passions, and to live their dreams! I want it for me, AND I want it for you. Really! I don’t care if you’re black, white, brown, purple or green. If you’re a good person, you deserve good. If you’re a bad person, I hope you can turn around and “get that good!”

It’s crazy, because in the midst of all these conversations and emails, I was out and about and found the perfect piece of art (the pic above) that totally says everything I’m feeling. It’s by artist Kelly Rae Roberts, and it’s called “Sisters at Heart.” I HAD to have it because it speaks to my writing about interracial love, it speaks to how I wish the world was, it speaks to how I truly feel, and it speaks to how I want ALL women to feel. Let’s lose the negativity ladies, and wish each other well. In the end aren’t we all just sisters at heart?

Friday, September 3, 2010

Love Is Not A Skin Color.......(My Latest Story on TheNextFamily.com)

Okay I’m officially irritated. If it wasn’t so ridiculous I would probably be mad too. It’s amazing how you can find out how people really feel when they voice their opinions behind your back to someone else. Are we in high school?! Funny thing is, more often than not, those opinions come full circle and make their way back to the very person you didn’t have the courage to say it to in the first place. So where am I going with all this, and what happened that got me so hot and bothered (and not in a good way)?

Well, we have a “friend” who shall remain nameless to protect the ignorant, that apparently has huge issues with black men being with white women. This is someone who has been in our home, drank our wine, ate our food, laughed with us and cried with us…but come to find out she doesn’t approve of black men with white women?! How do we now know this? The other day she was at a friend’s party and there was another black and white couple attending the party as well. These are the lovely words that came out of her mouth: “He is obviously not a real man, because if he was he would get himself a strong black woman and wouldn’t be with that weak white woman.” Ummm, excuse me?! Wow. WOW! Of course this comment got back to my husband and he said, “Well, then what does she really think of Amy and me?” Ya, my thoughts exactly.

First of all, since when are all black women strong and all white women weak? I am probably one of the strongest people you will ever meet. Seriously, I’ve been through it and I’m still standing and still strong, and look…I’m white! Why do people insist on continuing this separation madness? There are strong black women and weak black women, there are strong white women and weak white women. Being strong or being weak has nothing to do with skin color…it’s a mind-set, and last I checked all of our brains were the same color. Maybe next time she should use hers before speaking. Just a thought. It’s sad to me that people just don’t get it. I’m not with Jamie because he’s black and he’s not with me because I’m white. We are with each other because we love each other…period. Love comes from the heart, which, just like the brain, is the same color in all of us. It’s simple…love is not a skin color!