20 Years of Marriage!

Our Wedding Day ~ August 21,1993

I do! And then some!

I now pronounce you....

I had to make our cake topper 

because interracial toppers didn't exist 20 years ago

Filled with joy!

Awwww ~ Daddy and daughter so long ago!

Jamie and I NEVER imagined 21 years ago, on that fateful day on the freeway, that today, we would be celebrating 20 years of marriage! The odds were not only stacked against us, they were piled high! However, through it ALL, we grew more in love, created a beautiful life and raised a loving family. 

Even though in our eyes we are just a couple, to society we are an interracial couple. We deal with so much more than couples that are of the same race. Sometimes it's mind boggling. We could have easily walked away all those years ago and decided that it wasn't worth the extra struggle to move forward in a relationship, but instead, we did the exact opposite and became stronger in spite of the obstacles. Each brick that was thrown at us made our foundation even stronger and our love even deeper. It's a choice to make it work and a choice we are blessed to have made. 

We not only have the obvious race difference but we are from VERY different worlds. I was raised in upper/middle class, white bread suburbia and Jamie was raised in the hood. Night and day lives, that came together because of 2 hearts and one love. We embraced each other's worlds and we raised our beautiful daughter to appreciate both and feel comfortable in both. Today we live in the middle of the 2 and it works perfectly. Who knew that Jamie would be attending book signings and going to see things like the artsy fartsy mosaic stairs in San Fran and I would be attending ghetto fabulous lowrider shows and car shows! It makes me laugh just thinking about it! Partnership and compromise at its finest!  

Through laughter, tears, love, loss, happiness, sadness, anger, relief, ups and downs...I am grateful for every moment of every single day during these last 20 years of marriage. 

Happy anniversary to my best friend and my soul-mate. Thank you for our CRAZY, AMAZING, LIFE! I Love you Jamie Wise! Here's to 20 more!

Our Fam ~ August 2013

 Us 2013

2012

2013

20 years later! More in love than ever!!

The Blind Man.....

The other night my hubby and I went to a birthday celebration for one of his friends.  As we were walking into the restaurant, my third hand….I mean my blackberry, lit up, and I received an email from my agent.  She wanted to know if I would be interested in being interviewed about being in an interracial relationship.  She received a query from someone who was writing a “how-to” on how to have a successful interracial relationship. They wanted tips and advice on how to “survive” this type of union.  Of course I said yes, after all, it’s not only my life, it’s what I write about!  After I said yes, it got me to thinking.  How interesting that we need tips and advice on how to “survive” in a mixed race relationship.  After 19 years together, and 18 years of marriage, it’s all so natural to me.  Survival?  Tips and advice?  That just sounds odd.  However, if I look back on all the struggles and trials and tribulations that we have gone through, well then, it makes all sorts of sense.  That’s why I still write about our marriage, because even though we have it down “to a science,” I know there are a lot of couples out there that are wondering, is this really going to work?  They are dealing with family issues, societal issues, and more. Me, this is how I deal with it….if you don’t like us….that’s okay.  We like us and that’s all that matters.

It still boggles my mind that in 2011 this is even an interview topic.  We really need to get over it.  Really.  The funny thing about “us” is, we are just a couple.  We are like all the other couples out there, the only difference….our skin colors.

So let me ask everyone this question….if a blind man met us and we became close friends without ever sharing our “differences” with him, would he know we are a mixed race couple, or would we just be a “regular” couple to him?  Hmm, something to ponder.  If you don’t see the difference, is there one?

Just like everyone else….we start our day together, we live our lives together, we make plans together, we raise a family together, we laugh together, we cry together, and we grow old together.  Read that sentence again….are we an interracial couple, or just a couple?  It’s all so simple yet society still makes it so difficult.  We are in love, we are married, we have been together for many years, yet people still question us.  Why? 

I've said it before and I will say it again....nobody is born a bigot.  Racism is taught….let’s stop teaching it.  The blind man only "sees" our hearts….what can we learn from him?  How about loving this life together…..one heart, one mind, one love. 

"Secret"...Love in Black and White.....

I’m not sure how many of you have seen the new video from Seal featuring his wife Heidi Klum. If you haven’t you can check it out here. I absolutely love this video. This is what two people in love feel for each other. It’s not about being black and white, famous or not famous, it’s about being in love. The beauty of this video speaks volumes for interracial couples, or, for that matter, all couples. I applaud Seal and Heidi for putting this out there. It’s racy, and it’s personal, but most of all, it’s romantic and touching. The contrast of their skin, the looks in their eyes, and the words in the song…beautiful.

Sadly when an interracial couple is “out there” there is always some form of hate that comes out of the woodwork. In this case it’s in the form of the comment section. I read through some of the comments and thankfully most of them voiced nothing but praise for the video and all its beauty. However there were some comments that just made me sad. I won’t print them because they don’t deserve “air time.” All I can say is, I feel for people who don’t get to experience all that the world has to offer. They choose to close themselves off from people and places that are not like them, so they miss out. They choose to hate people who are in situations different from theirs, so they live with anger. To me living with hate would be just like dying a little inside each and every day. We don’t all have to agree, but there is no need to be hateful when we don’t.

Love is a beautiful thing and if you happen to find it with someone of a different race, then yippee! Celebrate! When in doubt, watch this video again and realize that love comes in all colors. Or, you can just ask me…18 loving years later…Jamie and I are living proof of love in black and white.