Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Those of you that know me, know I'm a VERY positive person. Lately, however I've been a little disheartened by all the negative stories directed at specific groups or religions. From the minister and church in Kentucky that refused membership to interracial couples, to Lowe's Home Improvement pulling their ads from All American Muslim, to parents throwing their gay children out on the streets, to the hateful comments regarding the interracial article our family was featured in, in USA Today. There's so many more but I think you get the picture. Each one has a running theme...ignorance and hate based on the unknown.
The minister and church denying interracial couples membership? I'm speechless. Did we just go back in time? A church teaching hate? Isn't that an oxymoron? Or are they just morons? Sorry, I normally don't say that about people but in this instance I couldn't resist. I wish the minister and members could spend one week with us so they could see that we are just a family full of love....nothing more, nothing less.
Lowe's Home Improvement removing ads from All American Muslim because a small Christian group complained? Since when does one religion have a say over the other? C'mon Lowe's...have you ever seen the show? The entire point is to open minds and erase assumptions. You just threw that out the window in an instant! Are we living in the dark ages or America? Shame on you Lowe's.
Parents throwing gay children away like trash? How is this possible? How does a parent stop loving their child because they can't accept their partner? The heart can't help who it falls in love with. Love's funny like that. Trust me, I know.
The hateful comments on USA Today because we are an interracial family? Really? I had to stop reading because the horrible words made my stomach turn. How can someone hate us if they don't even know us?
Why are we hating instead of loving? Why are we erasing instead of embracing? This is supposed to be the season of peace and love no matter what the religion. How can one hate what they don't even know? That is called ignorance.
Does it matter if I'm Christian, Muslim, Jewish or Buddhist? Does it matter if I'm black, white, brown or green? Does it matter if I'm gay, straight, or go both ways? No, it doesn't. What matters is...if I have a heart, if I'm kind, if I'm giving and if I'm loving.
The irony in all of this is, religion is supposed to teach love. What is happening here? Why is it okay to love some and hate others? It's not. I can guarantee that whether someone worships in a church, temple, mosque or home, there is NO religion that says it's okay to hate. Only people do. No matter the race, religion, or sexual orientation....open hearts and open minds don't discriminate.
I'm Christian, I'm straight, and I refuse to hate!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The other night my hubby and I went to a birthday celebration for one of his friends. As we were walking into the restaurant, my third hand….I mean my blackberry, lit up, and I received an email from my agent. She wanted to know if I would be interested in being interviewed about being in an interracial relationship. She received a query from someone who was writing a “how-to” on how to have a successful interracial relationship. They wanted tips and advice on how to “survive” this type of union. Of course I said yes, after all, it’s not only my life, it’s what I write about! After I said yes, it got me to thinking. How interesting that we need tips and advice on how to “survive” in a mixed race relationship. After 19 years together, and 18 years of marriage, it’s all so natural to me. Survival? Tips and advice? That just sounds odd. However, if I look back on all the struggles and trials and tribulations that we have gone through, well then, it makes all sorts of sense. That’s why I still write about our marriage, because even though we have it down “to a science,” I know there are a lot of couples out there that are wondering, is this really going to work? They are dealing with family issues, societal issues, and more. Me, this is how I deal with it….if you don’t like us….that’s okay. We like us and that’s all that matters.
It still boggles my mind that in 2011 this is even an interview topic. We really need to get over it. Really. The funny thing about “us” is, we are just a couple. We are like all the other couples out there, the only difference….our skin colors.
So let me ask everyone this question….if a blind man met us and we became close friends without ever sharing our “differences” with him, would he know we are a mixed race couple, or would we just be a “regular” couple to him? Hmm, something to ponder. If you don’t see the difference, is there one?
Just like everyone else….we start our day together, we live our lives together, we make plans together, we raise a family together, we laugh together, we cry together, and we grow old together. Read that sentence again….are we an interracial couple, or just a couple? It’s all so simple yet society still makes it so difficult. We are in love, we are married, we have been together for many years, yet people still question us. Why?
I've said it before and I will say it again....nobody is born a bigot. Racism is taught….let’s stop teaching it. The blind man only "sees" our hearts….what can we learn from him? How about loving this life together…..one heart, one mind, one love.