Sunday, June 28, 2009

She's Just a Fad.....

Me at Seaport Village June '09
Jamie's Birthday April '09
When Jamie and I started dating in 1992, one of the many things that people told Jamie was, "It's the thing to date white women right now, but you'll get over it, it won't last, she's just a fad." Well, 17 years later here we are! Hmmm, I think it has lasted, and I would venture a guess that I am definitely not a fad! =) Why is it that just because I am white and Jamie is black people assumed I was a fad? They thought I was "something" he had to "get out of his system" so to speak. We were, and still are together because of the love we have for each other. What people seem to forget is, we are all "trying each other out" when we first meet and start dating. It doesn't matter what your race is......everyone is getting to know everyone at first. It was no different for us. We met, we became friends, we enjoyed each other's company, we fell in love, we realized we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, we got married, and we had a family. Sound familiar? That is what we all go through right? We didn't take that path because I am white and he is black....we took it because that is the natural progression of two people in love. People.....that's us....just two people in love. =)

6 comments:

Amy said...

I just want to say thank you to all of you who are reading my blog and giving me so much wonderful feedback. I wasn't sure how many people would truly be interested but so far the comments on here, the emails, and the comments on facebook have just made me even more aware that this subject does need a voice. So thank YOU for reading and for inspiring me to keep writing!

Madelyn said...

Well put Missy.

jay Steffers said...

Well, You two are "forerunners" , but even in The States I see more and more mixed couples&kids (I am actually writing with such a couple on a regular basis)
Especially teens seem to be more&more colorblind as far as love goes.

BTW, Your account of "black driver at the wheel" made me angry by proxy.. Terrible if even "peace officers" in such a multi-hued society as The States, can't shake the shackles of preconceptions... And such behavior towards someone that looks as friendly&good hearted as your hubby....[shakes head]

Amy said...

Jay,

Hello again! =) It still amazes me that this has to continue to be a topic of conversation. I am hoping that one day our union and other's will be so normal it will just be part of the fabric of life. It's funny that you say teens are more colorblind. This is sooooo true. My teen daughter is a perfect example of that. She has friends from every background and mix you can imagine and her range of boys that she likes goes from black to white to mexican to asian and everywhere in between! I love it! We can only hope that this becomes the norm as time goes on.

In regards to the police...it is a constant with my husband! First they don't think he lives in our neighborhood and second they think he is up to no good. It is so ridiculous! Between his car, his skin color and his "persona" (large "scary" black man) he gets it all the time from cops. He is very jaded unfortunately. It makes me mad as well and he just expects it. Crazy isn't it? Change, change, change....this is what we need.

Anonymous said...

This is probably my favorite entry of yours. You just really hit the nail on the head about your relationship just being about "two people in love," and the progression of same. That's how we feel too, I only wish the rest of the world could wipe away their ignorance and just see how simple it all is. And that is: We are all just spiritual beings having a human experience and skin color is such a superficial characteristic. It doesn't change who we all really are. I had told you that my immediate family is completely okay with our relationship, I wish I could say the same for some of my extended family. I have mixed race cousins (caucasian and Mexican/Indian) and my Grandparents still make comments about my Aunt always dating "the dark ones". And this is over 30 years later! My cousin, Joe, is 31! They don't even know about my new relationship (my grandparents and I really don't have much of a relationship), but I already know how they are, so there is really no point in involving them. They live several states away anyway. Its just a shame. After 94 years and 88 years, they both still hang on tight to their old ignorant ideas.
Heather (formerly anonymous in Missouri)

Amy said...

Thank you Heather!

It really is so simple isn't it? Love is love is love, no matter what your skin color, religion, or background happens to be. The heart fortunately does not have eyes, only feelings. =) Ignorance is such a waste of time. If everyone would just open their hearts, their experiences would be so much brighter and so much better! It's such a waste of energy to hate. There is really no reason for it other than what people perceive to be true based on what they were taught. If everyone would just let it go and get to know the real someone under the color, the religion, or the neighborhood, oh the friendships and the relationships that could grow!!! People are missing out and they don't even realize it. It's funny that you talk about the older generation and the old ideas...we had that as well but not from my side at all. My Grandma (who has since passed) embraced Jamie from the minute they met. I was sooo happy! I wasn't sure to be honest, how that would go. I shouldn't have been surprised though because she loved everyone! Sadly we had family that didn't come to our wedding because of the "mixing" of races. Crazy! Oh well....their loss. Our love is so strong and we are so independent in our thinking, and the way we live, that you either accept us or you don't. We are in it for the long haul. This is a love that is forever. Here's to your new love and a long and happy future!

Amy