Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Big Surprise!

Okay, you carry someone for nine months, you have 20+ hours of labor, and you raise them their entire life (14 1/2 years so far)......but nobody thinks you are that child's Mother!? What's up with that?! Where is this coming from you ask? Once again someone is shocked to find out Tatiana is half white and that I am her Mom. We were driving to school the other day and one of her schoolmates was walking down the street. I waved even though I didn't know her, because of course it's my job to embarrass my child...oh, it's not.....don't tell her that! Well, anyway, when Tatiana ran into that same classmate later in the day she asked Tat who she was in the car with on the way to school. Tatiana said, "My Mom, silly." The girl said, "What?! You are white?!! Oh my God, I had no idea!" You would have thought she found out Tatiana had two heads or something...shock and awe! When Tatiana was telling me the story she said, "Sorry Mama, once again you are left out!" It's so funny to me that this keeps coming up, and even funnier that people are continually shocked to find out Tatiana is half white. It's like I am this big surprise when they meet me for the first time! Now, on the other hand, when she is out and about with her Dad and I'm not there, nobody ever questions whether or not she is black. Never, ever, have I heard someone say, "What!? You are black!? I had no idea!" OMG! It doesn't even phase me anymore because I am so used to it, but sometimes I do get a little irritated by it and I have to say something. The other day we were at the community pool and I had to go sign in Tatiana and her friends so they could go swimming. The security guard asked which of the kids was my child. I pointed to Tatiana, and then he looked at me with an attitude like I was lying to him! He said, "She is your daughter?" I just looked at him and said, "Yes, her Dad is black!" Well then he said, "Oh, oh, well you didn't have to tell me that." Well apparently I did because he didn't believe I was signing my own child in. So after that the kids went off to swim, and the guard went off to sensitivity training. Okay, not really, but maybe he should have! So, it's no surprise that I will continue to be, "the big surprise," but as long as you are kind about it, I will just smile and say, "Yes, I really am her Mom!"


Angela said...

Gosh Amy. It's so funny that you mention this. My family is one big giant melting pot...starting with me. I'm Chamorro (from Guam) and was adopted by a white family just before the age of 2. I have had to convince people my whole life that "Yes, SHE is MY mom!" Even now, when adoption is so much more one ever believes me. Now with my own daughter being mixed, I have overheard her friends ask her if she's telling the truth when she tells them I'm her mom...and she is only 8! So I can relate to both sides of this post and admittedly, have also at times, gotten irritated by it. "The Big Surprise" indeed!

Amy said...

Angela we have more in common than we realized. I too am adopted! My experience however was the exact opposite. Everyone always says my Mom and I look so much alike! It always cracked us up and we would just say, "Oh, we hear that all time." So here I am Tatiana's biological Mom and I have to "prove" to people time and time again that yes I really am her Mom! Yet when I am with my Mom who adpoted me as a baby people just assume she is my biological Mom because we are both white, and have so many similar traits. The irony is comical. =)