Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Blind Man.....

The other night my hubby and I went to a birthday celebration for one of his friends.  As we were walking into the restaurant, my third hand….I mean my blackberry, lit up, and I received an email from my agent.  She wanted to know if I would be interested in being interviewed about being in an interracial relationship.  She received a query from someone who was writing a “how-to” on how to have a successful interracial relationship. They wanted tips and advice on how to “survive” this type of union.  Of course I said yes, after all, it’s not only my life, it’s what I write about!  After I said yes, it got me to thinking.  How interesting that we need tips and advice on how to “survive” in a mixed race relationship.  After 19 years together, and 18 years of marriage, it’s all so natural to me.  Survival?  Tips and advice?  That just sounds odd.  However, if I look back on all the struggles and trials and tribulations that we have gone through, well then, it makes all sorts of sense.  That’s why I still write about our marriage, because even though we have it down “to a science,” I know there are a lot of couples out there that are wondering, is this really going to work?  They are dealing with family issues, societal issues, and more. Me, this is how I deal with it….if you don’t like us….that’s okay.  We like us and that’s all that matters.

It still boggles my mind that in 2011 this is even an interview topic.  We really need to get over it.  Really.  The funny thing about “us” is, we are just a couple.  We are like all the other couples out there, the only difference….our skin colors.

So let me ask everyone this question….if a blind man met us and we became close friends without ever sharing our “differences” with him, would he know we are a mixed race couple, or would we just be a “regular” couple to him?  Hmm, something to ponder.  If you don’t see the difference, is there one?

Just like everyone else….we start our day together, we live our lives together, we make plans together, we raise a family together, we laugh together, we cry together, and we grow old together.  Read that sentence again….are we an interracial couple, or just a couple?  It’s all so simple yet society still makes it so difficult.  We are in love, we are married, we have been together for many years, yet people still question us.  Why? 

I've said it before and I will say it again....nobody is born a bigot.  Racism is taught….let’s stop teaching it.  The blind man only "sees" our hearts….what can we learn from him?  How about loving this life together… heart, one mind, one love. 


Kim LePiane said...

Bingo! We have had this conversation before. The issues people display are their flaws, not yours. It is not personal people! Atta Girl Time, you get it and you pass it on! Way to go!

Kim LePiane said...

p.s. This is how it's done! WooHoo!

Anonymous said...

Amy, having met you and Jamie and Tatiana you are just a couple of "older" people married like everyone else with all that implies. Jamie is a goof ball and such a character who is rich with life and you my dear are my soul sister somehow separated at birth. Love today's blog. Love you sister friend. The power of your writing brought us together and the rest is history.

Amy Wise said...


Thank you thank you! Little by little hopefully these issues won't be anyone's. We can only hope. For now we are here to live our best lives and maybe even make a difference along the way! Hugs and love my dear friend. Hugs and love!


That is so sweet! Jamie is so very rich in life...I love that! Thank you for the comment about the writing...the rest is history indeed. Love you lady!

Love both you ladies with all my heart! A.

Anonymous said...

Amy, Like you say we are just a regular couple, we struggle over the same thing we grief the same way. Me and Michael have been together for 20 years and married for 19 years (in few days)Michael Have to go to work 5 days a week, I stay home because of illness. Irene goes to public school. Someday we get broke. We do the same this as our white friends or our black friends. We are just like everyone else. Take care Sólrún

Amy Wise said...

Solrun...exactly. Hugs my friend.


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Amy Wise said...


Thank you so much! I appreciate you stopping by and reading. You are very kind!


Diane Hall said...

I love your views, your message and the fact that you're teaching unity and harmony through your love, not just talking about it!
Thanks to both of you, for being yourselves and thanks Amy for sharing your experience intelligently and with smiles! :))

Amy Wise said...

Awww Diane thank you so very much for such sweet and thoughtful words. Thank you as well for stopping by, reading, and commenting. I hope you have a beautiful week....hope to "see" you again!


Shona said...

You are absolutely right when you remark about the fact that you and your wife are just a couple. I think that's the most difficult part of being in an interracial relationship -- having others not see that you are simply two people in love. Instead they see you (and your love) as some sort of curiosity. It is dehumanizing really.

Great blog btw - Happy New Year!

Amy Wise said...


You are so right about the curiosity aspect. It's always so odd to catch people staring and even sometimes whispering about us. It's as if we have three heads or something. I don't get it in this day and age but sadly it is still a reality. We just keep living in love and doing our thing and hopefully little by little with even more time the curiosity will fade away and we will just be. Thanks for taking the time to stop by!

Happy New Year!