Last week our family had the honor of being featured in USA Today. I was interviewed for the piece and then a photographer came out and did a photo shoot of our family. We had such a great time with the photographer he actually ended up joining us for dinner after we were done taking pictures. The article came out a couple of weeks after the interview and it was such a thrill to have our family be the face of interracial marriage in USA Today. It truly touched me because so much of my writing is about this very subject.
I have been writing about interracial marriage for years now and the one thing that I have never had to deal with when it comes to writing about our family, whether on my blog or on guest sites, is racist comments. Even if there has been a difference of opinion the comments have always been very respectful. When the article came out in USA Today I was saddened to see so many racist and hateful comments in the comment section. Thankfully there were many more positive comments than negative ones but it saddened me none the less. Because USA Today reaches so many people I should not have been surprised, but I was. I'm not going to go into specifics about what was said and luckily the paper pulled the really horrible comments, but it still shocks me to see how closed minded and ignorant people can be when it comes to race in America in 2011. I actually had to stop reading the comments because they made my stomach turn. They also made me realize how much work we still need to do when it comes to educating people about race and interracial relationships.
The one thing that I want people to know that don't seem to understand or approve of our family is we are truly no different than any other family out there today. I don't wake up in the morning and look at my husband and think, "I'm so in love with my black husband," he's just my husband. I don't look at my daughter and think, "My biracial daughter is my heart and soul," she's just my daughter. Yes my husband is black, yes I'm white and yes our daughter is biracial.....those are the facts, but the truth of the matter is, we are three people that make up a family filled with love. It really is that simple. I didn't steal a black man from the hood, Jamie didn't set out to meet a white woman, and we didn't say let's have a mixed child. We married each other because we fell in love and we had a child because we wanted a family. Color has never had anything to do with our choices when it comes to our relationship and family. Color only comes into play when society continues to make an issue of it. We are about love and love only. Isn't that why anyone gets married and starts a family?
I've said it before and I will say it again. Tatiana gets the best of both worlds. We embrace my culture and we embrace Jamie's culture. She gets double the fun, double the food, double the history, double everything! Talk about an open mind. America is all about people that originally came from some place else. Our country is really just one big melting pot of the world, so trying to be around one race and one race only is quite unrealistic. I feel sorry for people that aren't open to other races, cultures and backgrounds. They are truly missing out on so many wonderful experiences. It's quite sad.
So in the end, to those that had such negative things to say about our family....all I can say is, my heart breaks for the hate that you carry. I hope that you can one day realize we are just a family that happens to have multiple shades of skin colors and lots and LOTS of LOVE!
Thank you USA Today for such a wonderful experience!
11 comments:
Who said mean things? Did USA get a lot of losers commenting on your story? Sickening if they did.
I just read many of the comments. Some are vicious but a lot are very nice. I would go with the nice and figure the rest are in the 14% that don't and won't accept this marriage ever.
I know Madge, it's just so disheartening to see any negative comments. It's also unrealistic for me to think there wouldn't be any but it still makes my heart hurt. At this point in time I just don't understand racism. It's such an old ridiculous way of thinking and there is no basis for it at all. When will people understand that color has nothing do with the person inside or the heart inside? It's just silly and such a waste of negative emotions. Hugs woman!
Love A.
I wish you would send me a copy of the article. We don't get USA Today here. I hate that I missed it. Where are the comments? I would like to read those too. They may piss me off, but I would still like to read what someone would say to about my friend, the good and the bad. Might just make me blog.......
Emily click on the word "featured" in the blog post. The comments are at the bottom of the article. Thanks for reading my friend!
A.
Amy & Jamie & Tatiana
I just read your current blog regarding the USA news paper article. I want a copy of that special issue so badly that I will pay you for it.
You know like Madge that I am one of your strongest supporters because each of you have an open heart and open mind about interracial love and marriages like I do. I did not read any of it and since I missed it, I really do Not need to read that racist negativity. My favorite t.v pastor “Joel Osteen” preached a few Sundays ago. His title was “Be selective to what you feed your mind”. Don’t let trash go into your mind about life from the news or t.v shows. Most television programs shows dysfunctional families on t.v with someone cheating or abusive. Just be selective to what you listen to and watch.
Last night, my wife and I ate at my favorite buffet restaurant, Golden Corral because they gave a free meal to all soldiers and prior soldiers who served. During my wait in line, I met a wonderful interracial couple, the woman Black American and her husband Puerto Rican Hispanic. Then I found a Hispanic man that is an usher in my church and I met his wife for the first time and she is Black American. Across from us was young couple that was black and white. Of course, I had to tell them about my favorite websites. You, Jamie, Tat and couples like Ester and I make this country and this world a better and more loving place to live.
Let's keep Interracial Hope Alive. Peace & Blessings.
Amy, I hope that you will take the positive comments and hold them in your heart. There are many more people in this world that respect and care about you than the few that are filled with anger. I am sorry that you were hurt by their intolerance. You have so much more in your life than they will ever have. You are a winner!
I look forward to the day when being an interracial marriage no longer matters. Since when did the color of someone’s skin define who they are inside? Since when was a soul connection based on someone’s skin color?
Mean is never cool. I truly believe that whoever is judging is saying nothing about the person they judge and everything about themselves.
Tatiana is blessed to have been born into such a loving family.
Nay K, Valerie, and Hannah,
Thank you all for your sweet thoughts. When I read negative comments like the one's that are on USA Today it just makes me even more passionate about teaching people that skin color has NOTHING to do with the person. I will never let it bring me down. It makes me sad for them that they carry such hate in their hearts. I will always be willing to sit down with anyone and have a civil discussion even if we disagree, but to just be out right vicious doesn't make any sense. It's their loss and hopefully one day they will see that people are people no matter what they look like on the outside. It's really quite simple. Hugs all!
A.
Amy, I can imagine how hard it is to put yourself out there and then to have people crap on the sacred heart of it. I agree with Madge that they are a very small minority, haters like this, and so it's important that people like you, articulate, compassionate, rational people like you keep yourselves out there for the world to get to know and love. Unfortunately it won't be all easy, but I do think it's worth the efforts. Those haters will shrink in numbers over time, caught in their own sad circles. xo Barbara
Barb,
Thank you so much. I totally agree. I do believe it's always worth the effort to create change for the better. After all how will it ever happen if we don't keep on keepin' on! Thank you for your sweet words and for taking the time to stop by and comment.
Love A.
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