Thursday, November 4, 2010

"Honorary Black Person"

 It’s official…I’ve been with Jamie so long I’m now an “honorary black person!” I’m not making this stuff up. We were in a meeting the other day with a room full of people and the meeting was not going well. One of the people said, in a joking manner, “It’s cause we’re black, that’s why this isn’t working out.” Everyone laughed and then I looked at the person that said that, tilted my head, pointed at myself, and said, “Um excuse me…helloooo..,white person in the room.” He looked at me and said, “Whatever, you’re not white, you’re an honorary black person.” I was the only white person in the room, but apparently not really, because according to him I’m an “honorary black person”! Who knew!?

Hmm…what does it take to get that title? Is it because everyone is so used to me being with Jamie? Is it because it’s easier to make the jokes if I’m the honorary black person instead of the white person? It’s a curious thing this distinction, or maybe I should look at it as lack thereof. No distinction is what we all want! This is a good thing.

Back in the day when Jamie and I first got together I was the “devil” white woman…no, seriously, that’s what I was called by some, so it seems I have come a VERY long way now that I’m the “honorary black person.” I should celebrate this milestone…with wine perhaps!

All joking aside, I think what it comes down to is, I’m comfortable no matter who I’m with or what setting I’m in. I try and “make friends” no matter where I go because I just love people. So whether I’m in a room full of black people, white people or purple people, it’s all good, all the time. That’s my hope for everyone.

I still feel like I should get a certificate or something:
Amy Wise – Honorary Black Person. It kind of has a ring to it don’t ya think?


Nay K. {Miami (Little Cuba) Florida said...

Amy: Awesome, You are such a blessing to have on this planet. I truly wish that you could meet my son’s Alex’s mother. You both would hit it off so well. She lives in Studio City.

Her name is Susanne and we met as dancers in college. I was into tap and she was into jazz and ballet. She wanted to learn some tap dancing in the early 80’s and one thing led to another, but we never really fell deeply in love with each other or we would have gotten married and we had other issues. She is 11 and half years older than I.

Anyhoo, she has such a beautiful heart and mind in terms of people and races and nationalities on this planet. I use to think of her and I still do, as I told her that she is White on the outside and Black on the inside.

If Susanne would have been in the place at the time, she would have marched with the late great Martin Luther King. She would have also marched with Mexican farm worker, Cesar Chavez in Los Angeles during his time for poor people’s rights.

Although, we did not last long as lovers, but she will Always have a special place in my heart for being the beautiful human being that she is. Susanne would also deserve such a title as honorary African American.

As for me, I 100% totally agree with what you wrote in your last paragraph that in real life, I too have been the only African American/Black person in a crowd or perhaps not more than two and I never felt uncomfortable until someone made a negative comment about it to me or someone made me feel that I did not belong.

For this, I have to thank the Holy Spirit of God and my parents for my siblings and I grew up in a racially mixed neighborhood our whole young lives from grade school to high school and that helps a lot.

I thank God that I did Not grow up in an Black neighborhood nor went to all black schools. I would not know how to behave around other races.

Tell Tatiana, it is a blessing that she lives in a racially mixed area and go to a school where all races attend.

This is what happens to people from other countries that are one race and one skin color. This all they see and then the migrate to America, a beautiful country that is made up of all skin tones and races and it is a beautiful thing and it’s even more beautiful when different races can date, fall in love and marry without any racial stares or problems.

The foreigner either accept it bring their negative views with them and try to keep themselves like other races are poison.
So, if you get called an honorary black woman, what does Jaime get called for being with you when he is around all Whites?

I can relate to that because when I have been around all Latinos from Puerto Rico and Cubans in Miami, they just tease me in a good way and say, “oh Nay, you are a Cuban or Boricua (slang for Puerto Rican) and I feel good about it.”

Many years ago in the late eighties, I told my then drama teacher that I was a gang member in a gang (just to get a rise out of him) and he is a lovable old Italian man and he responded, “gang member, please, you’re to White for that. Go sit down and work on your scene.”

Yes, this planet needs more people like you, Susanne, Heather, my personal friend Jennifer H, my ex and our parents. Let's give a shout out to our parents, please.

Amy said...

Nay K,

Thanks so much for such a heartfelt comment! Wow!

Alex's Mom sounds like a beautiful woman inside and out.

I hope that one day we can all have open minds and hearts and just love because of love. Oh the possibilities!

Thanks as always for reading and sharing your experiences and life.

Have a fabulous weekend!!


Anonymous said...


Love it that you are an "honorary black person"! :) I also agree with Nay, we definitely should be thanking our parents for our open minds and open hearts! Thanks Mom and Dad, for raising me not to see skin color. We are all blessed to have been raised by open minded parents. Congrats on your honorary status, I hope you didn't get too drunk on the celebratory wine! ;)


Amy Wise said...


Open minds and open hearts....I wish everyone could get there. =) The wine pic was from a friend's
50th bday. Good times. They are also an interracial couple...she is Hispanic and he is black. =) More open minds! Thanks for reading...hugs sent you way!


Teri Cohen said...


You had me laughing at this..its so funny, how being so many miles apart, we experience some of the same things. I suppose that Fredie and I have been married so long that it's no surprise when I'm told "helllloooo you're black" when I tend to point out that I'm the cinnamon looking one in the room :)

I feel truly blessed that my friendships and relationships are because I love the person, not their color of skin or any other reason and that I can relate to any gender and race.

You're such a blessing Amy!!


Amy Wise said...


Thank you so much for saying I'm a blessing! Wow...that means the world to me. You are the blessing in my life. I'm so happy that we have gotten to know each other and that my experiences are mirroring yours and helping you with the times that sometimes can feel like you are the only one! Hugs to your family and thank you as always for taking the time to read and share what you are going through as well!

Hugs and love...Amy

Imogen said...

My Husband's family named me an Honorary Italian last Christmas. It was cute.

Amy Wise said...


Thank you for reading! Honorary Italian...nothing like family acceptance! Very cute. Have a beautiful weekend!