I was going to write about something totally different today until I read one of the comments on my last blog post. A woman posted that she has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and because he is black her family refuses to meet him. Anytime I hear anything like this my first reaction is sadness, and my second is disbelief. Even with all that my husband and I have gone through the last 16 years of our marriage, I still try and see the world with rose colored glasses and hope that people are never judged on skin color alone. Clearly, by her comment on my blog and the fact that I even have this topic to write about, we still have a long way to go. If I were to sit down with this woman's family, I would first ask them, "Does this man make your daughter happy?" "Does this man treat her well?" "Does he love her?" "Does he respect her?" "Does he make her laugh?" If they answer yes to all of those questions, then why, oh why does it matter if his skin color is different than hers? One of the many joys that I have in my interracial marriage are all of the differences we both bring to the table. From the obvious.....skin color, to food, to traditions, to music, to clothes, to language, to friends.....I could go on, but you get the picture. There are so many wonderful things to learn about each other and the world just becomes smaller when we do! Don't we want that? Isn't it all about coming together? Isn't that what love is all about? It's so basic, yet we try and make it so much more than it is. We are all just people, wrapped in different packages, with the exact same gift on the inside......a heart, a soul.....love.Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Different Packages Filled With Love........
I was going to write about something totally different today until I read one of the comments on my last blog post. A woman posted that she has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and because he is black her family refuses to meet him. Anytime I hear anything like this my first reaction is sadness, and my second is disbelief. Even with all that my husband and I have gone through the last 16 years of our marriage, I still try and see the world with rose colored glasses and hope that people are never judged on skin color alone. Clearly, by her comment on my blog and the fact that I even have this topic to write about, we still have a long way to go. If I were to sit down with this woman's family, I would first ask them, "Does this man make your daughter happy?" "Does this man treat her well?" "Does he love her?" "Does he respect her?" "Does he make her laugh?" If they answer yes to all of those questions, then why, oh why does it matter if his skin color is different than hers? One of the many joys that I have in my interracial marriage are all of the differences we both bring to the table. From the obvious.....skin color, to food, to traditions, to music, to clothes, to language, to friends.....I could go on, but you get the picture. There are so many wonderful things to learn about each other and the world just becomes smaller when we do! Don't we want that? Isn't it all about coming together? Isn't that what love is all about? It's so basic, yet we try and make it so much more than it is. We are all just people, wrapped in different packages, with the exact same gift on the inside......a heart, a soul.....love.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Amelie,
Your comment inspired my latest post. The more I thought about your situation the sadder it made me. I hope with all my heart that your family does come to see that you are trying to build YOUR life and that they will always be a part of that but this is the person that YOUR heart fell in love with. It's funny how when two people from the same race fall in love there are no questions. Two hearts fell in love, end of story. What is the difference I ask when it is two different races falling in love? It is still just two hearts falling in love. Keep loving them all, keep showing them your joy, and follow your heart.
In fact, I find the love is much stronger than same race couples because we have to go through so much more. It really takes 2 strong people with crazy amount of love. Bravo to you and your husband. You are MY inspiration! I love my man SO much, but without meeting him, there's no way my family will know how well he treats me and how much he loves me. I encourage interracial dating because you can learn so much from each other, and get double the amount of food during holidays. =) Thanks Amy!!!
Amelie,
You are so right in regards to the love being even stronger with interracial couples. If you can stay strong with all of the craziness that the world tries to put on our relationships then you have it made! Just make sure you two always communicate to each other about what might be bothering you and bothering him about your family situation. If you don't talk about it it will just fester inside. Communication has been our key. Hang in there Amelie!
PS...enjoy all of the food! =)
Just read your blog for the first time. First, you are a really good writer. Second, love the perspective... enlightening & interesting. Third, the funny stories are great.
Melissa
Melissa,
Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words!
Amy
I found your blog while doing research at my campus library. I am planning to reference your blog in a group project. Your blog is representative of what it means to be committed.
I am from a large family. We have experienced many of the things that you talk about, some in reverse. We are Black/African American. I am never sure what I am supposed to call myself. My ethnicity is not clearly defined by my outward appearance. Many people mistake me for white. My daughter has had people ask her who I was; they did not think I was her mom.
I find it remarkable when people have made their comments about other races and not realized that I was one of 'those people.' It is ironic how they take so much for grant by judging someone by their outward appearance.
Thanks for providing your insights within your blog.
Lisagl,
I am so glad you found my blog while doing your research. I am flattered that you are going to reference it within your group at school. I am continually amazed that this continues to be such a topic in our world today. I too am shocked by comments people feel free to make when I am around and my family is not. One of my posts on the blog is in regards to exactly that...it is called "Don't Ever Assume" Here is a link to that post:
http://themanyshadesoflove.blogspot.com/2009/05/dont-ever-assume.html
I would love to hear what class your project is for and what the project subject is about.
Thanks for reading!
Amy
I am happy to see that others are being touched by your writings Amy. I have the privelidge of knowing her personally. She is a wonderful fun person to know. Even if we don't see each other often...when we talk it is like we picked up where we left off and there were no breaks in communication.
Maddie,
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the constant support and feedback regarding my blog. I truly enjoy our talks as well!
Hugs...A.
Thanks for your reply. The project that I was involved with at school was a project about Communication Climate: The Foundation of Personal Relationships. I just finished a Interpersonal Communcation course.
Lisagl,
Thank you for letting me know! How did your class go? I hope my blog was a help to you. Thank you again for reading and please let me know if you have any questions or need more info. down the road. Have a great rest of the week and enjoy your weekend!
Amy
Post a Comment