Monday, March 7, 2011

Letting Go.....

As you know I am a contributing writer to The Next Family online magazine. This week I received an email from the Editor of The Next Family saying that this month's theme was "Letting Go." I literally laughed out loud! This very minute, as I sit here and write, there are so many "letting go" moments happening in my life. So many!  I had to share here as well......

Today Tatiana is starting her behind the wheel driving lessons. I will be letting her go to drive on her own in a very short period of time. She has been practicing with me for 6 months and now she is going to be receiving her license. How do you let your baby go to drive on her own without worry and fear? I know I have to, and I know I have to trust that I have taught her well. She is a safe, smart driver and that's what matters. Letting her go is not going to be easy but I know it's time. Ready or not.

Today I'm also ordering Tatiana's cap and gown for high school graduation. This past January she decided she wanted to graduate a year early. She did the research, she figured out how to do it, we had meetings, called universities, and have now made it a reality. I'm letting her go to her next phase in life a year early! This one is BIG!!! Talk about letting go! She is ready, the question is, am I?

Today I'm going downtown for trial preparation for our water trial next week. I'm letting go after 4 long years and I'm putting my life and my family's life in the hands of 12 jurors. How do you let go and give it all over to 12 complete strangers? How? My husband says I'm a trooper and I can do it. I know I have to let go and let the system do what it's designed to do. I don't have an option, I must.

Today, as I prepare for trial and to get justice for the loss of our original dream, I'm moving on and letting go and working on my new dream. I'm writing my book with a new fervor, and now have a deadline for finishing. It's not until I let go of the old and let in the new, did this determination and drive fully kick in. It's time to move on and then some.

As you can see there is a lot of "letting go" going on in my life right now! It feels like an entire new life is being born right before my eyes. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be? It's a lot to handle all at once, and sometimes letting go seems overwhelming, but when I just let be what will be, then it all seems to fall into place, just as it should.

So today I give my daughter wings, today I trust in the justice system, today I let my words flow. Today, I LET GO.

13 comments:

Kathleen said...

Beautiful~I could feel the calm as I read your words~

There is a time to realize you have done the very best you could and its time for you or anyone to 'let go' and 'trust'.

I call mine 'Life Waves' and you just rode in a few of your own 'life swells'. Brava, xo

Solrun said...

This is what I call faith. This is something would had happen regardless if you had not be going trough all this. The Editor telling you to wright about letting go. Trust God he would never let you go trough something you can not handle. Things will be all okay.

Madgew said...

Amy, you will survive it all. My Mom said to me years later that the day I got my license I drove my sister to a drive in restaurant with the poles and the speakers and promptly hit the pole and the side view mirror. But my Mom's really worry was that I was driving off with her two most precious loves in the control of one of them (me). I made it and so will Tatiana. What is she going to do with her year off since I assume it was too late to apply to colleges? Do any colleges offer mid year admission?

Kim LePiane said...

Love this and I love you! Keep on, keeping on. You are doing it so well. Big ole' Atta Girl to you, dear friend!

Nay K. said...

Amy, being a father, I can certainly relate to the letting go, as our babies grow from little kids to teenagers to young adults. I have three sons and they are all now over 21 and on their own.

I miss so much my time with them when I use to play on the floor with them, piggy back rides, movies, playing video games and sometimes helping with their school work.

My oldest son, who was a very successful child actor for many years, I miss helping him with his film and t.v auditions for such movies as “Parenthood” starring Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen or his Saturday morning t.v series “Fudge” or his most famous role of the world most famous singer/dancer, superstar Michael Jackson, when he played young Michael in a t.v movie “Jacksons, American Dream and many others.

I miss our cross country road trips of just father and sons.

Amy, I also remember teaching two of my sons to drive my Honda stick shift many years ago.

Amy Wise said...

Kathleen thank you so much and thank you for sending me the beach! How sweet are you!! You are just an amazing woman and it's a such a treat to now call you friend. <3

Solrun you are so right. Faith is one of the many things that has gotten me through this case. It's been such a road but there are amazing things happening right before my eyes....thank you my friend!

Madge so true. Very sweet what your Mom said. I think that hits home for every parent! In regards to the year off...dance at a new studio to prepare for college auditions, college tours, SAT prep/tests, work (very part time), chem class online at BYU, travel. No mid year admissions for freshman. It's going to be a great year for her! She is so excited. Love you!

Kim my spiritual shoulder and lifelong friend. Wow we have been through it ALL together and then some. No words woman...no words. LOVE YOU!

Nay K. thank you for sharing the memories of your kids. They grow up so fast and I can't believe that time is almost here for Tatiana to start her next phase! It's been lightning fast! I also received your email. Thank you again for sharing all your memories!

Love to you all and for taking the time to read and comment! Amy

georgette said...

Amy,,,,you give comfort to a feeling so many of us experience! Every word encited an "oh yeah, I can identify with that" in the paragraph about your beautiful Tatiana driving! I always knew I wasn't alone in my fears during those times, but you've given a calming voice to those fears, especially in light of the fact that I'm about to go through it again with my granddaughter.....this time I will channel your words and tuck them in my heart....thank you Amy, with love! oxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

So beautiful!! Thank you so much for sharing this!! All of you amazing women and incredibly touching loving blogs! Letting Go!!! Letting go is a huge leap in faith. It is also very much like closing one door to open the next. Letting go of one thing and opening a whole new chapter in your life!! Just remember the ebb and flow, new waves of life rolling in!! (That was for KB!!) XOXOXOX Carol

Amy Wise said...

Georgette and Carol,

How blessed am I to have the two of you in my life. Seriously all of you ladies just fill me up!!! Thank you for the beautiful comments, thank you for reading and thank you for the neverending kindness! Wow! A.

Cheryl said...

Very moving, Amy. I am not a mother. But I am a 64 year old daughter. But I will always be my Mommy's baby, as she said, even through to her end at 89. Two of the most meaningful statements that she made to me revolved around "letting go." One was before I started traveling all over the world. And the other was in the last 24 hours of her life. It's a life long process, that's for sure. She kept my heart close because she let me go.
You are a beautiful writer.

Amy Wise said...

Cheryl,

Thank you so much for sharing your story about your Mom. That is so touching! You have such a big heart and I love that you have held on to those memories. =) Thank you! <3 A.

Roschelle said...

one of life's hardest lessons is ... letting go. i know just where you are. for i've been there too. (minus the 12 jurors). my 19 year old left the nest a couple of years ago. it feels strange - the love is still there. the parental concerns and declarations that often go unanswered due to their new sense of independence and the distance that separates.

Life - what a beautiful journey :)

Amy Wise said...

Roschelle,

So great to hear from you! Hope all is well. =) Thank you for sharing your perspective about your 19 year old. Life is indeed a journey isn't it!?! Welcome back! Hope your weekend is beautiful....Amy