Oh this word! You know which one I'm talking about......the "N" word. I despise this word, and at the same time am very confused by the use of this word. My personal opinion is the word should not be used at all, by anyone at any time. Now this opinion coming from a white woman might not hold as much water as if it were coming from a black woman or black man. However, because I am married to a black man and have a child that is half black this word takes on a whole other meaning for me. When I hear this word it hurts my heart because I personally feel that it hurts my husband and daughter. We have had many discussions about the use of this word and who should be "allowed" to use it. When my daughter was in elementary school I got a call from the Vice Principal saying that someone on the playground had called her the "N" word. It was a little boy that was actually trying to be "cool" by calling her this word. It was more of a, "What up my "N**ga," use of the word. Tat was hurt, the boy was mortified that he hurt her, and I got a call from the school. The interesting thing was, the call came from the VP who was black and not the Principal who was white. Was this a coincidence, probably not. Interesting none the less. So here is a kid that was trying to be "cool" and he ends up hurting someone by the use of this horrible word. Where did he learn the word? Home? Music? Friends? Who knows where he learned it and why he thought it was okay to use it? It was a perfect example of why it shouldn't be used in conversation in the first place. Now on the flip side of that story, just yesterday one of my husband's friends used the "N**ga" phrase on his facebook and I was mortified! I asked my husband if his friend was mad at him. He laughed and said there was nothing wrong with a black man calling a black man that word. We have had this conversation many, many times and I totally disagree. I think the word is awful, and should not be used at all. Who am I to say though? When two black men use this word in a "friendly" banter is it okay? Me, personally I don't think so. I think the word is hateful. Jamie and I have disagreed on this subject for years. I think even in friendly conversation it keeps the word alive, and as far as I am concerned it should be very dead and very buried. So, is there ever a time when it is okay to use the "N" word?